SCHOOL OF MARRIAGE

Marriage is a school where you get the certificate before you start. A school where you will never graduate. A school without a break or a free period. A school where no one is allowed to drop out. A school which you will have to attend every day of your life. A school where there is no sick leave or holidays. A school founded by the Almighty: 1. On the foundation of love, 2. The walls made of trust, 3. The door made of acceptance, 4. The windows made of understanding. 5. The furniture made of blessings. 6. The roof made of faith. Before you forget, you are just a student not the principal. The Almighty is the principal. Even at times of a storm, don’t be unwise and run outside. Remember this school is the safest place to be. Never go to sleep before completing your assignments for the day. Never forget the C-word, communicate, communicate, communicate with your classmate and with the Principal. If you find something in your classmate (spouse) that you do not appreciate, remember your classmate is also just a student not a graduate. The Almighty is not finished with him/her yet, so take it as a challenge and work on it together. Do not forget to study, study, study the Noble Book (the main textbook in this school). Start each day with a sacred assembly and end it the same way. Sometimes you will feel like not attending class, yet you have to. When tempted to quit find the courage and continue. Some tests and exams may be tough but remember the Principal knows how much you can bear. Still, it is one of the best schools on earth; joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day. Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject. After all the years of being theoretical about it, now you have a chance to practice it. To be loved is a good thing, but to love is the greatest privilege of them all. Marriage is a place of love, so love your spouse but remember: “This class doesn’t involve a person who is not permitted into it”! If you invite your mother or father or your friends to this class, or anyone who is not allowed to be there, you will fail the exam. It is you who should attend and it is you who will pass. Its Your Choice Today:” Build It Or Break It”.

Touched My Heart, Tears Falling Down...

Today, my days started like usual. I was late about 4 minutes for work (it's actually more, but the thumb print device showerd only 4 minutes late which is not accurate at all). I didn't manage took my breakfast, but managed to pack my lunch box even though I'm late for today. Late because I sleep back after my alarm ring. Padan muka! I dont know why, but i realized that as time goes by, my energy goes down. Wake up in the morning is like soo torturing to me. For the sake of my son, i pushed myself to wake up and start my day. It took about 45 minutes driving from my apartment to my office. I thought the road is clear during the school holiday....unfortunately it's jst the same. After send my baby to nursery, i drove to office. While im walking very fast to my office from the car park, my mind set a plan for coffee and kueh2. But all the imagination turned out to be just an imagination as I have to see the late Dr. Marina family for their daughter's ganjaran terbitan. The moment I entered the Meeting Room, I saw an old woman and mid age woman. I shake their hands and I can feel sadness in their heart especially the mother. Oh my God.....Allah knows how i feel inside for the mother. She's was born in 1932 and currently aged around 81 years old. I feel like I want to hug her...i really can feel pain inside her heart that reflected to her eyes. I heard she whisper.."It's gonna be hard for me to go back to Johor and start my life there". Inside my heart, I just want to offer her to live with me and my son. But, who i am to give her that offer. After I explained them everything, then i lead them to the door and shake their hands again and the moment i walked to my office my tears almost falling down. I really really feel soooo sad for the mother. It somehow reminds me of my mom. My mom deserve everything, she sacrifice her everything to raise each one of us. I hurt her for deciding to married a guy behind her back...without her consent...without her blessing ;( Forever I will be sin for her. Forever....

How To Guard Your Husband's Honor as a Muslim Wife Most Muslim Women Are Careless About Their Primary Obligation to Protect Their Husband's Honor

Traditionally, occupations such as cooking, sewing, fashion designing and interior decorating were considered the exclusive terrain of women. Today, however, they have all witnessed incursions by men, to some extent. One domain, though, still remains predominantly women’s-only, and that is home-making. This is because it is woman’s innate nature to be the master of her home. As manager, guard and coordinator, she happily does the household chores and caters to her family’s needs, while the husband, more often than not the chief breadwinner, remains absent throughout the day at work. Allah has acknowledged this aspect of the functional family unit, by instructing women to be “guards” of their husband’s property and honour in the latter's absence: “Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to the husband), and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard…” [Qur'an - Surah Al-Nisaa: 34] Guarding “what Allah would have them guard” implies that a Muslim wife should guard: Her husband’s property (house, money, belongings, and anything which he leaves behind), Her own modesty and chastity, and finally, Her husband’s honour and reputation. Guarding her husband's honour would mean not mentioning him, his character, or his deeds to any third person in a derogatory or defaming manner – ever. Although the world generally frowns upon an untidy home in disarray, or a cheating wife flirting with other men, this aspect of a wife’s loyalty – her maintaining her husband’s honour behind his back – is something even many “good” wives fail to accomplish. Women generally speak well of their husbands to people they are not close to. It’s the close relatives and friends, however, who unwittingly cause slips. Be careful of unintentional slips in conversations with other women: Even if there is no major argument between the couple, how often we see Muslim women casually commenting to each other about their husband’s shortcomings. Whether on the phone, or during a visit, it is common to hear them complaining about their husbands to their mother, sister, cousin, or best friend. Even if they discuss their husband lovingly, some hidden aspect of the comment, or merely the tone of voice, sometimes carries disdain or derision. woman talking on the phone“The plumber came, and I had to rush back home to supervise his work, as [my husband] is totally useless; on Saturdays, he lies in bed all day and does absolutely nothing…” “My husband snores so loudly, it could scare anyone who hears him in the middle of the night.” “He offers to cook, but his dishes turn out horrible, so I’d rather not eat what he makes…” “He never takes me shopping; he’s always involved in his work.” During the gush of such ‘girly’ conversations, their husbands’ potent faults are unintentionally revealed. The listeners/on-lookers chuckle knowingly, nodding their heads in compassionate comprehension. What they enjoy is the pleasure of knowing that this supposedly “happy” and perfect Muslim couple too, have the usual marital differences; that even seemingly “righteous” couples cannot always live in harmony. And last but not least, it gives them fodder for gossip. Remember that mentioning your husband’s weaknesses might initiate gossip about you: coffee-table gossip The gossip-mongers in any social circle dwell on the “juicy” tidbits regarding other couples’ marital discord, for which they fish around in conversation and hearsay. We have all heard the stories about the in-law hovering outside the bedroom door while the husband and wife argued, or the “sincere” friend giving a frustrated wife her shoulder to cry on, only to discuss the account with her other friends later. Remember that protecting the husband’s honor is one of Allah’s commands for a Muslim wife: What Muslim women should be wise enough to understand is that, by revealing their husband’s faults to anyone else, they are disobeying Allah and thus putting themselves at risk of His wrath. They alone, are to lose out by this action. Even though Islam allows a woman to seek help for major problems in her marriage, it enjoins her to bear all trivial marital problems with patience and discretion. A woman does not get as much respect anywhere in the world as she does in her husband’s home: there, she’s the queen of her throne, elegant and ethereal. When she defames her husband in any way to a third person, she lowers herself from this high pedestal. She gives people a chance to mock her and discuss her with others, becoming the topic of coffee-table repartee. Beware of the concern of even your biological mothers and sisters - it can sometimes be the cause of your marital troubles: Narrated by Ibn Abbas, Prophet Muhammad [Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him] said: “The best woman (wife) is the one who, when you look at her she pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, and when you are not in her presence, she safeguards herself and your belongings.” [Ibn Majah 1861] Muslim women should be careful about this matter even with their biological sisters and mothers. At the end of the day, no one wants a woman to come and live with them if she gets divorced or estranged from her husband. They, however, do enjoy listening to her incessantly complain of the problems in her husband’s home: how low the finances are, how untidy her husband is, how much he eats, or how he neglects her rights. They might throw bygone incidents in her face even months after she has moved on and forgotten them, so that she starts brimming with indignation all over again, at their mention. Muslim women should try not to fall prey to the instigations of such “well-wishing” people, who laugh when she mocks her husband, who relish her marital dissensions, who thrive on getting to know other women's domestic troubles. They are devils in disguise, preying on the tranquility of others’ homes, seeking juicy coffee-party gossip. Muslim women should beware of disobeying Allah in this regard. Make only righteous, Allah-fearing woman your close confidantes and ‘shoulders to cry on’: Even if you have a fight with your husband and you feel you must mention it to someone to feel better, do it with someone who has high taqwa [consciousness of Allah], who will never divulge your story to anyone else. Even your own mother might mention it to her sister, who might tell her daughter, and in this way, the whole family might be discussing your household troubles and commenting about them, weeks or months after the whole thing has blown over. Remember that in every command of Allah lies a potent hikmah, a hidden wisdom that is beneficial for you. He loves you seventy times more than your well-wishing mother. Run to Him – in salah [regular Islamic prayer], dua [praying to Him], dhikr [His remembrance by the tongue and heart], and istighfar [seeking His forgiveness for sins] – whenever you have a bone to pick with your husband. For the solution and the solace after the storm, trust in Allah. If you keep your duty to Him, He will never relinquish you - rather, He will fill your home with unbridled peace, harmony and tranquility. Sadaf Farooqi is a freelance writer based in Karachi, Pakistan. She writes regularly for the Islamic Family Magazine, Hiba. She has also recently self-published her first book. Caution: Don't mix too much with malicious people who tell you other families' innate secrets. When you are angry at your husband for some reason, avoid talking to anyone until the anger dissipates. Busy yourself. Quick Tips: Avoid talking unnecessarily on the phone. Maintain a personal journal and write down how you feel when you are angry at your husband. Talk it out with him once you cool down. source: http://www.howtodothings.com/religion-spirituality/how-to-guard-your-husbands-honor-as-a-muslim-wife

Tuesday Meeting

Good afternoon. Im back again. As usual, Tuesday is a meeting day for me. Management meeting. I was so sleepy while the meeting was ongoing. I worry if anyone notice my sleeping eyes during the meeting. Shame on me. Today I only spoke to my husband around less than 5 minutes. I had a bad dream last night, but I don't really remember what it is. But it was a bad dream. I started my day with argument with my husband. Basically it's all about the b*itches who keep in touch with him. I dont know who, But im sure there are numbers of bitches communicating with him even though his whats app profile pic using our photo together. God, help me, help me to have a right mind to decide what am I going to do with my life now. Protect me God. Put me in a safe place and hold my hands along my life journey raising my only son Fares. Ok, time check...it's 2.09pm. So i have to start my work now. Talk to you later. Bye.

...and Im back again.

I'm back again here on this page. A page that suppose to be my diary turn out to be an abandon blog. It seems so hard to sustain updating my stories here. I blame myself for being uncommitted to fill up my blog with useful content that could change someone's life. My intention to write here is not because I want to show off my horrible life. I just want to educate especially the young rural lady like me who easily fall in love with a wrong guy in a wrong time and screwed up in the end. Yesterday I was sad, today I am happy :) Yesterday I had a problem, today I still have the same problem but today i CHANGED the way I look at it. It's 11.11.2013..nice number and this month will be the 2nd final month. We almost come to the end of 2013. When I look back what had past...in deep breath I can see myself now stronger than yesterday. My own husband who suppose to protect me, trying his best to destroy my life and separate me from my only son. To make this situation more and more interesting...he did all this in a same year when I just got deliver. What a life I'm in. Thanks to ALLAH. HIS power is so great that in my most hopeless moment, he came and hold my hand, light up my hearts and mind and whispered in my ears tenderly 'Everything will be ok my dear, for I AM with you always'. Allah is Great...Allah is Great! Here I am, live like a single mother with a baby. Financially disaster but still keep on surviving until the end! I promise to Allah, I will take care of HIS gift for me that is my son forever! Ok, got to go. My boss is coming here soon to check my work. Stay positive ;)