Stay in office during lunch time...

It's lunch time and I am not going anywhere. I order Mcdelivery...my meal today will just the same like yesterday..Quarter Pounder medium set. While everybody are go for healthy meal, I myself enjoying my unhealthy fast food meal. Is that mean that I am gonna get fat? I hope not. But i really want to stay fit and sexy so I can wear my pencil dresses which i bought from doublewoot. paris now in nursery. I wonder whats going on to him. i hope the lady not gonna torture him. God protect him always. I have no idea what should I write here. I have too much messed up in my mind...to much to think about...and it makes me cannot sleep at night. Always lives in miserable life before until i have my little friend...my little companion. He open my eyes to see the colorful side of the life. He saves me. Oh GOD...i am so hungry. Cant wait to have my McDonald here. Where are you..pls come McDonald :( Me missing us...

Lacks of Motivation..Lacks of Discipline...

Good morning, I am now in office opening my blog to start up my days. Today is 20th January 2014, and after 20th day then only I open my blog and start with my updates. I remember the time when it's going to New Year countdown, I tell myself I want to read more, listen more and write more..and it's yet to be done. I love to write, I write whatever comes through my mind. Some people may not feel interesting to read my blog I believe one day 'ones will do' and that would be only son. Oh gosh..how can I continue with my write up when my arms start to tingling. My cervical slipped discs attacking again triggered by daily activities like carrying baby and his stuff everyday. What can I ... I am all alone and I have no choice but to do it for my baby. Today is the 1st day of the week. As usual, MONDAY is never been a good day for me. I dont know why, but I have this feeling ever since I was in Secondary School. Those are the times when I have to get up extremely early every morning and wait for my school bus to pick me up at home at 5.05am. I was the 1st person to be picked my in morning and I was the last person to be sent home in the afternoon...what a complete cycle huh. I dont know how can I survive. Thanks to GOD! So many things comes to my mind..all memories seems become like a black and white movie. I hate to mention his name, but to be honest I still look at his daily activities via FB (I access his FB because Im the one who created it), I access his instagram photos update, i stalked him via whats app...I see him there doing his stuff...and I cry. None of his activities connected to me. it's all about himself and our son. I dont exists in his life. Im not someone he loved. Im just a puppet to be used to get money and whatever he can to survive here. Kicking a ball in the field doesnt make any money...doesnt make any income. Not even for himself. May Allah punish him for taking my money. Amin. Ok, it's almost 9 and my left arm start to paining. I think I should start my work...and stop typing. Have a blessed and wonderful day. Amen.