22nd May 2013, Wednesday - We are all playing in the same Game, but different Levels..Dealing with the same Hell, just different Devils. I guess that was the warp of yesterday. My romantic love story with my husband end up with a big fight in Syariah Court. Our conversation now replaced by our lawyer's conversation who represent each of us. Even though we still not yet officially divorce, but the boundaries between us has become so tall and thicker that It makes me see that one day me and my husband would end up as familiar stranger to each other. I have the intention to create this blog ever since I got married to my Egyptian husband. But, because of I'm kinda lazy and doesn't really have the drives to take me here, I end up delaying my intention to start this blog. One reason that drives me to start now is I wanted to shared everything what I have been through with my husband..an egyptian guy who I met in one club. I can never forget the day he approached me...how gentle he was and any girls especially like me..so naif and innocent would certainly melt in his gentleness. That was on the 26th June 2010. I still remember how he held my hands and asked my number before I left the club and said "can i know you?" while passing his cell phone to me with a hope that I would give him my number (which i did). I should've just ignore him that moment. I may not be in this situation if I choose not to give him my number :( Anyway...anyhow...things happened and there's nothing can change it anymore. I just got to face the reality and push myself to move on and never look back. I pity myself...what have I done to her that makes her suffer this much. I asked myself thousand times...why me? why me have to face all this? why me? I leave the questions playing in my mind. Someone I thought my lifetime soul mate has now become familiar stranger to me. Someone who promise that we will be together until forever has now become history. Bittersweet history...Someone who swear in the name of God that he will never divorce me finally pass a letter from a law firm to summon me in Syariah Court. I drove all the way from my hometown to the City just to get the letter and be make sure to attend the session in Syariah Court. I was shaking when I read the letter saying that my husband wants to divorce me. I dont know how to express how exactly I feel that time. I started to think that I have nobody now. I am so lost. With my new religion and be on my own for a another 30 years (if i live longer). If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Anyway, what happened..is happened. There's nothing much I can change about it. Maybe it's hard for me now, but I believe as time goes by...I will get used with it. I believe there must be graces above all this.